How to nurture creativity and maintain the loving and compassionate nature of kids?

I was chatting with my 6 years old nephew 'Lavin' a few days back and we were playing puzzles. I asked him a question, "Lavin, if I've to choose one 'thing' out of the 4 available, how should I go about choosing one when I like them all, but the rule of the game says that I could pick only one"?
After giving it a deep thought [trust me, kids looks even more innocent while making such poses :)], Lavin replied:

"Here is the answer. Lets assume that you've 4 bracelets to choose from and they are of different colors - Red, Green, Blue and Pink and each one has a different shape - rectangle, triangle, square and oval. Now, since I [Lavin] like green color but you don't like green color so lets NOT throw that bracelet away, rather SELL it to someone who likes green and you get the money in return." [I wondered where this reply from Lavin came from?:)].

He continued:

"Now that 3 bracelets are left and you've to choose one, you pick the one with the triangular shape as that'll look good on you, after wearing which you'll also look good and people will like you more and go to disco with you.."

[Ah! that made me think if kids are being taught to like others based on their external appearances only? I again wondered, where did this answer come from?].

But what Lavin suggested for the remaining 2 bracelets was very touching and made me love him more and wished that each one of us could learn this from kids who are so pure.

Lavin said:

"Since you like the remaining 2 bracelets also as they are beautiful, give it to two of your favorite friends and make them happy!!"

This made me wish that more and more grown ups had learnt to share and spread love.

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Please share your thoughts on how could kids creativity be further nurtured and their loving nature be preserved?
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Below are a few inputs from different people on this post that I had originally posted on a network.

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I struggle with this every day as a newbie parent. I see in my daughter's eyes a soul so pure I don't want to contaminate. But I inevitably do.

What I think is most important is what we do and how we act, not only as parents but as human beings in general. That's what our kids will grow with, and that's a HUGE responsibility to bear, believe me.

Spread love and compassion to everybody else and our kids will do the same. I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but that's what I aspire for every day.

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The best thing we as adults could do is to let them be themselves and let them explore the world without our (learned ) inputs, but at the same time protect them from harm.
Observe them and we could learn a lot from them, perseverance the best way to learn is to look at a child try to do something that he is not able to do.
We can provide them with the freedom to explore materials without thinking about the mess that they would create.
For mental creativity , i guess we should listen to the children talk more often and also listen to what we talk in front of them....They seem to absolutely immersed in some activity but they still do know and undertsand what is going on around them.

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The best one can do to nurture the creativity a child has is to allow the child to do the activity that fascinate her/him. Also if we can do our best to add more values to child life by walking the talk that is more than enough for a child to grow into a better person, since we are the role models for the growing child. Also never try to curb the child's natural instincts will definitely help a child to grow into a more refined adult.

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Creativity rules!!

The Vibes of Freedom

The vibes of freedom seemed to be present in every moment of the day [15th August - India’s Independence day] reminding me of the saying that we attract what we think.
I had planned to spend the Independence Day in totally ‘unplanned’ manner and when the day has ended I’ve concluded that I had been missing out on -

* enjoying the beauty of the wonderful music sung by pure hearts;
* noticing the sparks of creativity that every single individual has (discovered and some yet unleashed);
* gaining the ultimate knowledge of ‘feelings’ and not the ‘thoughts’;
* deriving inspiration from the blessed souls whom we call as ‘differently abled’ or ‘special people’ who’ve not been fortunate enough to be blessed with good physique and health but have the marvels hidden inside their beautiful souls;
* respecting the courage of so called ‘common people’ who believe in doing their virtuous bit; * gaining strength from the will power of the little stars whose shine is waiting to illuminate the world.

While I was hoping to be a free bird, my hands picked up 1981’s edition of this treasured book titled ‘The Spirit of the Sikh’ [its first edition got published in 1100 - the word ‘Sikh’ means a ‘Learner’] that encourages humanity, compassion and love to be the ultimate goals of our souls.

Here are some beautiful and thought provoking excerpts that I ensured marking in the book and to use them as my ‘instant mentors’ whenever I need them in life:

* Filled with the melodies of soul, like an unfolded blossom on the tree of Truth, live in the spontaneous Rapture of noble kindness of everything. Every step of yours forthwith becomes a miracle, every breath a new discovery of enhancement of love. Be souls here, more than bodies. Nothing is demanded of you but a change of direction. Face the sun and go on. All shadows shall come following, aye flying behind you. Give up the mad chase of shadows, it is insanity.

* There can be no other law, but be good, do good, think good, live good. For goodness is the fragrance of the life of the spirit, mercy, charity, love, helping fellow beings, feeling miserable at the misery of others, washing the soiled are the natural emanations of the life of the truly cultured man.

* Here is life, here is freedom, hush. Sleep thou soul of man: in the infinite rapture of being.
What a brilliant and lyrical way to express the freedom of our true-self - an inner journey towards our soul…

I had already started feeling good after reading these precious words of wisdom when my eyes captured the a report about an Autorickshaw driver in Bandra, Mumbai, who does his generous bit by being a mobile inspiration to all those who take a ride in his autorickshaw. I was amazed to read about his giving discounted rides to the differently abled people, taking the blind people on a free city tour in his auto, encouraging the passengers to donate for an old age home whose cause he spreads via a print ad posted in his auto and he’s been able to gather much help for the old age homes this way. His wife takes care of the medical problems of the women in slum and their 2 children are studying in a convent school.
What an amazing way of living ‘freely’ - freedom from cribbing about lack of abundance, freedom from insecurities arising out of ‘hoarded wealth’, freedom from the negativities and criminal thoughts by lending a helping hand to the needy - a freedom in true sense of the word, a freedom of the soul it is….

‘Times Nation’ page of the TOI brought in some ‘real’ news from the nation on this Independency Day. News on 2 ragpickers who had cleared the entrance exams for engineering reminded me - Where there is a will there is a way. Don’t let yourself get captivated by the limitations exposed by the external environment - Let yourself be ‘free’.. I wonder if it is that easy but one thing I’m sure about is - this can give me another much required push towards the path of my freedom :)

It appears that the entire universe had conspired to bring to me a true sense of freedom on this day. The beautiful lyrics of the very classic Doordarshan’s National Unity song ‘Mile sur mera tumhara to sur bane hamara’ playing on the idiot box [not idiot really, sometimes it does brings out the sensibility in us :)] instantly caught my attention and the next moment I was totally lost in the same. I’ve never heard this song playing on any TV channel except on the National.. Why can’t these other channels bring out this beautiful stuff that is a treat to all the senses! Here’s the song’s video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gstRrEmTcBc

There was a lot in store for me I thought when I saw a group of ‘special children’ [differently abled] from an NGO performing on the stage and celebrating the Independency day. Their amazing dance moves while they were sitting on wheel chairs or had no arms or had none of their limbs working properly (yes, some of them were dancing with their emotions and expressions only!!] touched me to the core and I was teary eyes! Aren’t we blessed so much more? Why have we imprisoned ourselves so much that we’ve forgotten to enjoy the freedom that each one of us truly has within us.

The day made me think:
* Why don’t we free ourselves by letting go of our false egos and treat everyone with love and compassion?
* Why have we become the slaves of this mind who makes us chase only the materialistic things in life and forget the gifts we all have?
* Why are we getting imprisoned in our comfort zones so much that we fear taking chances and opening ourselves to the freedom that this vast universe has to offer?
* Why don’t we let go of our prejudices and differences and be ethical in our dealings?

The day left me in highly introspective mode and I hope to welcome some more freedom in my life :)
Be Free!

Yeah, we do BUY DAUGHTERS!

Yeah, we do BUY DAUGHTERS, but it really hurts to sell our own little girl to someone else!! Isn't it? Why this hypocrisy?

The pain in her dad's eyes while bidding her good bye, brought this sudden bitterness in my thoughts. I wish I could hold his hands and convince him saying, "Don't worry! Your daughter is very happy with her married life and enjoying it to the best." Alas! I couldn't, because I was well aware of the bitter truth, the trauma that his daughter was going through.

I had just come out of Gurudwara [a place of worship] on a bright Sunday morning. I saw one of my old acquaintances, whom I lovingly call 'Uncle', holding a few currency notes in his hands. He was trying to convince his daughter 'Simran'* [*name changed to protect identity]. He wanted her to take that money from him. Uncle had tears in his eyes and was silent. Silence speaks more than words and especially, when it is full of pain and agony.
Simran, an amazingly beautiful girl now looked like a dead body moving with numbness; hiding her real emotions, as if she had exprienced so much already that she forgot to experience any more emotions.
I could feel a sudden ache in my heart on seeing this pretty girl who was always so full of life, in such a sad state. Simran got married to a well-to-do businessman about 3 years ago. Her family couldn't stop 'bragging' with proud. Her parents thought that she had got the best match in the town despite her being from a lower middle class family having limited sources of sustenance. Simran was on cloud nine and felt that she couldn't have been luckier than this. She got the good match as she was 'extremely beautiful'.
The happiness and charm of this marriage were very short-lived. Simran's dream of a happy married life and her parents' dream of a blissful life for their daughter came down crumbling when the dowry demands from her in-laws suddenly increased.
Simran was being deprived of all the respect that she deserved. She had to bear sarcastic comments on her getting dressed up nicely. She was given the logic that she isn't supposed to wear good clothes as she couldn't bring much wealth to them, her in-laws. She was being questioned on her every move out of the house. She was treated like a maid when she deserved to be treated like a daughter, a wife and a human being who has a heart and a soul - A heart that feels the joy, a heart that feels the pain, a heart that beats. But how could 'heartless' people, her in-laws understand that?
My thought process suddenly got interrupted on hearing Simran say to her father, "Papa, please keep this money with you. Trust me, I am very happy with my in-laws. You use this money for your treatment and stop worrying about me".
After saying this, Simran held her father's hands and directed him to put the money back in his pockets.
What Simran's father said after that shook me to the core! He said, "Simran beta [daughter], my medicine is YOU. Don't lie to your papa. I can see the tears that you are hiding from me. Let me PAY THIS PRICE to your in-laws so that I can buy back your smiles from them!".
I felt so helpless, could feel myself holding my tears on seeing this plight. However, a strong statement from Simran helped me be at little ease. She bid good bye to her dad saying, "Papa, we are not so weak that we'll let people use us for their greedy motives. I shall fight for myself and win this battle rather than giving up to their greed. Wish me luck and give your blessings."

Let us all wake up before we are bound to learn this lesson after selling our own daughters to these greedy monsters!

Experiences at old age home (2): And she went back....

[This is the second post in the series: Experiences at old age home]: Family reunion finally happened!

It was time to meet another senior citizen now. She was a very warm lady of around 70 years of age. The old man whom I had met earlier was so quiet and this lady was so chirpy like a little kid. Did I say that old people don't have a pure heart like kids? They do, infact they are just like little kids who need a bit of time, a bit of pampering and a bit of care. You smile at them and they return you abundance of happiness. They are so pure at heart as they've come out of the bitterness of the life and its experiences. They have transformed from political, hypocrite people to pure, innocent souls because years of experience have told them what matters most in life..

Coming back to that old lady who was so full of warmth. Despite all the odds she was going through while being away from her family, she had a glowing and smiling face. It was very clear that she had gladly accepted her fate.

As soon as I entered her room, she hugged me tightly and I was surprised as I was yet to come out my experience with that old man who seemed to be so afraid of anyone's presence. She told me to sit near her and her instant question was, "Why have you come here? Who are you"? It seemed that she was little skeptical of my presence there and had some hidden fears which I could judge. I took her hands in my hand and said, "Maa ji, you look like my grandma and I've come to meet you all to feel those blessings again as my grandma is no more." This infact is very true as I still miss my grandma's warmth and blessings and the positive aura that she used to fill our house with. I further said, "I just want to spend time with you, listen to you and learn from your experiences and also share them with the outside world who is missing all this by ignoring our senior citizens". Her reaction was, "It is so great that you've come here for this purpose. I also wanted to share my life's experiences with young people like you but never got a chance. I'll be happy to talk with you and you can further share these learnings with your friends and others". I was so delighted to see her gaining trust in me which was very important.

Without my prompting her, she started speaking with much ease. She told me that it was 'her choice' to leave her kids house and stay at this old age home. She told that they had become independent and had their own families and at a point of time, she started feeling that she was a 'burden' on them. When she told her children about her decision to stay at old age home, they were quite fine with it. When she said this I could see the pain on her face and eyes as if she was hiding something. It was very obvious that her children didn't give her importance and didn't even stop her from leaving the family.

It was so great to listen about her experiences as a teacher, as a mother, as a woman, as a grandmother, as a mother-in-law. She was a reservoir of knowledge and full of energy. From the caretaker of the old age home, I came to know that she keeps herself busy throughout the day and leads a very pious and disciplined life. She takes part in various activities and events even at this age, gives a good company to other fellow senior citizens and also writes whenever she could.

On this, I requested her to read out her poetry for me and show me couple of her writings. She got very excited on this and immediately pulled out some papers and started reading those out.

I got so touched with her poetry, it was full of blessings for this world. She had cherished the beauty of smallest of the things in life, in her poems. Then she read out a couple of articles which were targeted at youth and how they could lead. I was very impressed with her energy level, her knowledge and her choice to enjoy life despite these odds.

When I told her that I also write at times, she said, 'I'll write some articles for you to post them somewhere from where youth could read those'. She requested me to meet her again the next week and collect those articles from her. It was time for me to meet other senior citizens so I bid her good bye and promised to come back next week. While I was leaving, she took my face in her hands and kissed me on my forehead. I was at the top of the world to receive such warmth and blessings that I had been missing badly after my grandma's demise. I left with wet eyes.

After a week, I went to meet her again. I was too surprised and at the same time, extremely happy when I reached the old age home and the caretaker told me this:

"Ma'am, thanks for visiting again but you would not be able to meet that old lady this time. She left this old age home within 3 days of your last visit. After your visit, that lady was very happy and wanted to join back her family and speak with them. She wanted to share her experiences with her grandchildren and spend rest of her life with them. She had written couple of articles as well after you left and was also awarded by the president on the senior citizens day. One day she spoke to her family on the phone and they also realized how much parents matter in our lives. Her family came here the next day and took her back home. She's back with her family and very happy too."

I could not have asked for any better gift in my life from God than this one. I wish this continues and we bring back the lost warmth in our homes again...

Experiences at old age home (1): They cry 'HOME', 'HOME', 'HOME'.......

Lines and wrinkles on their face say it all. Their eyes cry of pain, sometimes lost in the emptiness - emptiness of hearts of their own children, emptiness prevailing in the society, emptiness of their own hearts which are now devoid of any feelings and emotions as they have become so numb and insensitive to any feelings. Nothing puts them at ease and nothing makes them sad. They don't smile, they don't feel bad, they don't argue, they just BLESS you!

2 days spent with senior citizens at an old age home took me through all these emotions and left me questioning everything around me. How could we be so happy after seeing our older generation in such a situation? Where are feelings of love and respect lost? Where is the care for those people who have cared for us their entire life? Where are the happy moments and celebrations for them, when their happy moments came from happiness of their kids only?

This post is the first one in the series of my experiences with elder people [age 65+] at a senior citizen home in my area. The experiences have left me touched.

I'll share them in this and a few more posts hoping that it'll touch our souls and make us introspect and at least give a few happy moments to our elders.

** Names of senior citizens and the old age home are not disclosed to respect their privacy.

First experience: [With a senior citizen who has now become neutral to anything around him and nothing excites or makes him sad]:

It was a bright Saturday afternoon and I was waiting for the permission from an old age home to allow me spending a few moments with the senior residents there. It took me lot of time convincing them. The fear they had was that my interaction with elder people might cause them inconvenience, which, according to them, had happened in the past few visits by various NGOs and volunteers. I promised and ensured them that this won't happen and if they wish, one of their care takers can join me during all my interaction with the elder people. On this, they gave me the permission and I was there the very next morning.

I really wasn't sure of what to speak with them as it was my first visit to an old age home ever. I had always enjoyed talking to elder people, listening to them and feeling so content with their warmth, love and blessings. I was hoping for similar moments there, am I sounding bit selfish here?

The care taker took me to a room on 2nd floor and opened the door. I didn't see anyone in the room and there was pin-drop silence in the room which was very haunting. I instantly wondered, 'Was it really a 'home'?? I kept wondering until I saw a man of around 70 years of age, who was sitting quietly at the corner of his bed. His face was pale, eyes constantly staring at the ground with numb emotions. Yes, emotions are numb when they are lost in the dilemmas of heart but they are still there craving for an outlet. It seemed that he had lost interest in life.

The pain on his face said it all. The silence was broken by care taker's calling out that old man and telling him that someone has come to meet and wants to spend time with him. This had no impact on the old man and he just got up from his bed and started walking in the room. Care taker left two of us alone promising that he'll be back in a few minutes. I was clueless about where to start our conversation from. I decided to go by my heart. I got up and touched the old man’s feet and could feel the warmth of his hand on my head and the blessings. Instant gratification!

I asked him if I could call him ‘Grandpa’. He didn't react at all, no expressions on his face, he kept staring at the door as if was thinking about something. Instantly, he started walking with very slow steps towards the door that was left open by the care taker. I couldn't understand what he was going to do. I just followed with a thought that he might want to sit outside in the lawn and talk. He kept walking and then walked down the stairs. I followed and didn't realize the pain of having 'no home' that this old man was going through, until I noticed him jumping off the main gate of the old age home that was locked from inside. This raised an alarm and I instantly called up the care taker, who, with 2 other guys rushed to the gate to bring him back. The old man kept saying 'HOME', 'HOME', 'HOME'...... He wanted to run away and go to his 'home'. I was so touched by this sight that I could feel the tears in my eyes. On further probing, care taker told me that this old man was left 'outside' this old age home a few months back from where he was brought in. He had no 'home', no one to take care of him or even bothering if he was alive or not, if he was happy or not, if he needed anything or anyone or not.. So whenever this old man saw the room of his door opened, he used to run away like this calling 'Home, My Home'......!!!!!

Lets ask ourselves, can we give them one 'true home' not just a place to live in? Can we stop 'throwing' our elder people out of our hearts and houses? They make our 'homes' and keep them alive..... The sensitivity is so lost..........

Happy B'day Dear MOM!!!! - [A dedication to my maa..]

So long..... another year added to mom's life.. A lil dedication to my mom on her b'day today - 12th April. I am really falling short of words to thank her for what she's done for me, still I hope this little gesture reaches her heart, which I'm very sure, will...

Maa..

Thanks mom for being my shadow,
for always walking besides me..

I wanted only a few smiles,
you gave me ALL yours..

I wanted you to hold my hand so that I could walk,
you picked me up in your arms..

I asked for little pat so that I could sleep,
you kept awake the entire night....

I needed some money,
you dedicated your life to work...

I expected a llittle applause when I scored high,
you threw a party and stood tall of proud..

I was burning high with fever,
you became my nurse...

I wanted to hear you on the phone while staying far away,
you spent entire day just listening to me.....

I took just one good decision,
you started treating me as your mentor.....

I wanted some hope,
you ensured me the results...

I craved for just one friend in need,
you became my best friend.....

Thanks once again mom for all the warmth and your blessings.. Love you lots! I wish for your long life always...!

Love story of Missy and Coco - they taught me a good lesson..

MISSY , the pretty sparrow and COCO, her smokey mate, the male sparrow, shared a beautiful love story and lived it every moment in my house, until Coco died of electric shock yesterday.

Story when Coco was alive:
The day in my house beings with the chirpy sounds of these lovely little sparrows who create a romantic and beautiful sight. I love the way Missy keeps teasing Coco by flaunting her pretty feathers and then their beaks indulge in long sensational kiss..

This is just the beginning, our pretty lady Missy has an attitude and sometimes acts little pricey. No wonder, poor Coco is always busy attracting her.. He plays some stunts in my drawing room, does a bungee jump from the curtain rod to the other side of the room and let me tell you, this trick has always worked for him. Missy just can't stop following him after this heroic act of Coco.
Their lovely, musical & orgasmic sounds of chirps always tell you how much both are in love..

What happened Yesterday:

Missy and Coco didn't seem their usual self and were sitting very quietly on the curtain rod. Missy seemed to be little upset with Coco, she wasn't responding to any of his tricks. But Coco is Coco afterall, he couldn't resist doing that incredible Bungee Jump again to impress Missy, which led to the tragic end of his life in a minute.. He got hit by the fan and died instantly because of the electric shock.
At this shocking sight, Missy just couldn't stay there and left the room. She didn't return till evening which made me worried about her well being. It appears that she wanted some solace..

I picked up Coco on my hand, a drop of tear fell off my eyes. I soothed his feathers and did the little burial ceremony while kissing him good bye.

That night and the day after:

At night I dreamed of Coco being alive but in the form of a little chicken. May be he's already got reincarnated. I was happy with the dream and when I woke up today, the first thing I noticed was the chirpy sound of Missy again. I was surprised to see her sitting on that curtain rod again.
She was little sad and was searching all over the room through her eyes with a little hope of finding Coco, her eternal love.. But it seems that she finally accepted the fact that he's no more.

What Missy taught me:

Missy was so brave that after some moments of sadness and self-pity of losing her beloved, she was back to her giggling chirps and flaunting in front of her new boy friend, who was lot smarter than Coco.. The days is still on and I can still see her acting pricey again but now with a new mate :)

She's once again reminded me that despite all the odds, life moves on and there should always be a limit to self-pity, beyond which, one should look forward to new hopes and new dreams.. [Missy's boyfriend is just a resemblance to new opportunities in life to look forward to!]

[We might have expected Missy to remain sad for days, alone, pondering over what happened to her wonderful life that she was happy living with Coco. Lets look at this story beyond just the 'mate' thing and lets think it from the perspective of any 'odd' in life, does it really make a sense to keep cribbing about something that is out of our control, does life really stop??] :) Happy living!

Signing off with tribute to little sweetheart COCO!