Experiences at old age home (1): They cry 'HOME', 'HOME', 'HOME'.......

Lines and wrinkles on their face say it all. Their eyes cry of pain, sometimes lost in the emptiness - emptiness of hearts of their own children, emptiness prevailing in the society, emptiness of their own hearts which are now devoid of any feelings and emotions as they have become so numb and insensitive to any feelings. Nothing puts them at ease and nothing makes them sad. They don't smile, they don't feel bad, they don't argue, they just BLESS you!

2 days spent with senior citizens at an old age home took me through all these emotions and left me questioning everything around me. How could we be so happy after seeing our older generation in such a situation? Where are feelings of love and respect lost? Where is the care for those people who have cared for us their entire life? Where are the happy moments and celebrations for them, when their happy moments came from happiness of their kids only?

This post is the first one in the series of my experiences with elder people [age 65+] at a senior citizen home in my area. The experiences have left me touched.

I'll share them in this and a few more posts hoping that it'll touch our souls and make us introspect and at least give a few happy moments to our elders.

** Names of senior citizens and the old age home are not disclosed to respect their privacy.

First experience: [With a senior citizen who has now become neutral to anything around him and nothing excites or makes him sad]:

It was a bright Saturday afternoon and I was waiting for the permission from an old age home to allow me spending a few moments with the senior residents there. It took me lot of time convincing them. The fear they had was that my interaction with elder people might cause them inconvenience, which, according to them, had happened in the past few visits by various NGOs and volunteers. I promised and ensured them that this won't happen and if they wish, one of their care takers can join me during all my interaction with the elder people. On this, they gave me the permission and I was there the very next morning.

I really wasn't sure of what to speak with them as it was my first visit to an old age home ever. I had always enjoyed talking to elder people, listening to them and feeling so content with their warmth, love and blessings. I was hoping for similar moments there, am I sounding bit selfish here?

The care taker took me to a room on 2nd floor and opened the door. I didn't see anyone in the room and there was pin-drop silence in the room which was very haunting. I instantly wondered, 'Was it really a 'home'?? I kept wondering until I saw a man of around 70 years of age, who was sitting quietly at the corner of his bed. His face was pale, eyes constantly staring at the ground with numb emotions. Yes, emotions are numb when they are lost in the dilemmas of heart but they are still there craving for an outlet. It seemed that he had lost interest in life.

The pain on his face said it all. The silence was broken by care taker's calling out that old man and telling him that someone has come to meet and wants to spend time with him. This had no impact on the old man and he just got up from his bed and started walking in the room. Care taker left two of us alone promising that he'll be back in a few minutes. I was clueless about where to start our conversation from. I decided to go by my heart. I got up and touched the old man’s feet and could feel the warmth of his hand on my head and the blessings. Instant gratification!

I asked him if I could call him ‘Grandpa’. He didn't react at all, no expressions on his face, he kept staring at the door as if was thinking about something. Instantly, he started walking with very slow steps towards the door that was left open by the care taker. I couldn't understand what he was going to do. I just followed with a thought that he might want to sit outside in the lawn and talk. He kept walking and then walked down the stairs. I followed and didn't realize the pain of having 'no home' that this old man was going through, until I noticed him jumping off the main gate of the old age home that was locked from inside. This raised an alarm and I instantly called up the care taker, who, with 2 other guys rushed to the gate to bring him back. The old man kept saying 'HOME', 'HOME', 'HOME'...... He wanted to run away and go to his 'home'. I was so touched by this sight that I could feel the tears in my eyes. On further probing, care taker told me that this old man was left 'outside' this old age home a few months back from where he was brought in. He had no 'home', no one to take care of him or even bothering if he was alive or not, if he was happy or not, if he needed anything or anyone or not.. So whenever this old man saw the room of his door opened, he used to run away like this calling 'Home, My Home'......!!!!!

Lets ask ourselves, can we give them one 'true home' not just a place to live in? Can we stop 'throwing' our elder people out of our hearts and houses? They make our 'homes' and keep them alive..... The sensitivity is so lost..........