Experiences at old age home (2): And she went back....

[This is the second post in the series: Experiences at old age home]: Family reunion finally happened!

It was time to meet another senior citizen now. She was a very warm lady of around 70 years of age. The old man whom I had met earlier was so quiet and this lady was so chirpy like a little kid. Did I say that old people don't have a pure heart like kids? They do, infact they are just like little kids who need a bit of time, a bit of pampering and a bit of care. You smile at them and they return you abundance of happiness. They are so pure at heart as they've come out of the bitterness of the life and its experiences. They have transformed from political, hypocrite people to pure, innocent souls because years of experience have told them what matters most in life..

Coming back to that old lady who was so full of warmth. Despite all the odds she was going through while being away from her family, she had a glowing and smiling face. It was very clear that she had gladly accepted her fate.

As soon as I entered her room, she hugged me tightly and I was surprised as I was yet to come out my experience with that old man who seemed to be so afraid of anyone's presence. She told me to sit near her and her instant question was, "Why have you come here? Who are you"? It seemed that she was little skeptical of my presence there and had some hidden fears which I could judge. I took her hands in my hand and said, "Maa ji, you look like my grandma and I've come to meet you all to feel those blessings again as my grandma is no more." This infact is very true as I still miss my grandma's warmth and blessings and the positive aura that she used to fill our house with. I further said, "I just want to spend time with you, listen to you and learn from your experiences and also share them with the outside world who is missing all this by ignoring our senior citizens". Her reaction was, "It is so great that you've come here for this purpose. I also wanted to share my life's experiences with young people like you but never got a chance. I'll be happy to talk with you and you can further share these learnings with your friends and others". I was so delighted to see her gaining trust in me which was very important.

Without my prompting her, she started speaking with much ease. She told me that it was 'her choice' to leave her kids house and stay at this old age home. She told that they had become independent and had their own families and at a point of time, she started feeling that she was a 'burden' on them. When she told her children about her decision to stay at old age home, they were quite fine with it. When she said this I could see the pain on her face and eyes as if she was hiding something. It was very obvious that her children didn't give her importance and didn't even stop her from leaving the family.

It was so great to listen about her experiences as a teacher, as a mother, as a woman, as a grandmother, as a mother-in-law. She was a reservoir of knowledge and full of energy. From the caretaker of the old age home, I came to know that she keeps herself busy throughout the day and leads a very pious and disciplined life. She takes part in various activities and events even at this age, gives a good company to other fellow senior citizens and also writes whenever she could.

On this, I requested her to read out her poetry for me and show me couple of her writings. She got very excited on this and immediately pulled out some papers and started reading those out.

I got so touched with her poetry, it was full of blessings for this world. She had cherished the beauty of smallest of the things in life, in her poems. Then she read out a couple of articles which were targeted at youth and how they could lead. I was very impressed with her energy level, her knowledge and her choice to enjoy life despite these odds.

When I told her that I also write at times, she said, 'I'll write some articles for you to post them somewhere from where youth could read those'. She requested me to meet her again the next week and collect those articles from her. It was time for me to meet other senior citizens so I bid her good bye and promised to come back next week. While I was leaving, she took my face in her hands and kissed me on my forehead. I was at the top of the world to receive such warmth and blessings that I had been missing badly after my grandma's demise. I left with wet eyes.

After a week, I went to meet her again. I was too surprised and at the same time, extremely happy when I reached the old age home and the caretaker told me this:

"Ma'am, thanks for visiting again but you would not be able to meet that old lady this time. She left this old age home within 3 days of your last visit. After your visit, that lady was very happy and wanted to join back her family and speak with them. She wanted to share her experiences with her grandchildren and spend rest of her life with them. She had written couple of articles as well after you left and was also awarded by the president on the senior citizens day. One day she spoke to her family on the phone and they also realized how much parents matter in our lives. Her family came here the next day and took her back home. She's back with her family and very happy too."

I could not have asked for any better gift in my life from God than this one. I wish this continues and we bring back the lost warmth in our homes again...

Experiences at old age home (1): They cry 'HOME', 'HOME', 'HOME'.......

Lines and wrinkles on their face say it all. Their eyes cry of pain, sometimes lost in the emptiness - emptiness of hearts of their own children, emptiness prevailing in the society, emptiness of their own hearts which are now devoid of any feelings and emotions as they have become so numb and insensitive to any feelings. Nothing puts them at ease and nothing makes them sad. They don't smile, they don't feel bad, they don't argue, they just BLESS you!

2 days spent with senior citizens at an old age home took me through all these emotions and left me questioning everything around me. How could we be so happy after seeing our older generation in such a situation? Where are feelings of love and respect lost? Where is the care for those people who have cared for us their entire life? Where are the happy moments and celebrations for them, when their happy moments came from happiness of their kids only?

This post is the first one in the series of my experiences with elder people [age 65+] at a senior citizen home in my area. The experiences have left me touched.

I'll share them in this and a few more posts hoping that it'll touch our souls and make us introspect and at least give a few happy moments to our elders.

** Names of senior citizens and the old age home are not disclosed to respect their privacy.

First experience: [With a senior citizen who has now become neutral to anything around him and nothing excites or makes him sad]:

It was a bright Saturday afternoon and I was waiting for the permission from an old age home to allow me spending a few moments with the senior residents there. It took me lot of time convincing them. The fear they had was that my interaction with elder people might cause them inconvenience, which, according to them, had happened in the past few visits by various NGOs and volunteers. I promised and ensured them that this won't happen and if they wish, one of their care takers can join me during all my interaction with the elder people. On this, they gave me the permission and I was there the very next morning.

I really wasn't sure of what to speak with them as it was my first visit to an old age home ever. I had always enjoyed talking to elder people, listening to them and feeling so content with their warmth, love and blessings. I was hoping for similar moments there, am I sounding bit selfish here?

The care taker took me to a room on 2nd floor and opened the door. I didn't see anyone in the room and there was pin-drop silence in the room which was very haunting. I instantly wondered, 'Was it really a 'home'?? I kept wondering until I saw a man of around 70 years of age, who was sitting quietly at the corner of his bed. His face was pale, eyes constantly staring at the ground with numb emotions. Yes, emotions are numb when they are lost in the dilemmas of heart but they are still there craving for an outlet. It seemed that he had lost interest in life.

The pain on his face said it all. The silence was broken by care taker's calling out that old man and telling him that someone has come to meet and wants to spend time with him. This had no impact on the old man and he just got up from his bed and started walking in the room. Care taker left two of us alone promising that he'll be back in a few minutes. I was clueless about where to start our conversation from. I decided to go by my heart. I got up and touched the old man’s feet and could feel the warmth of his hand on my head and the blessings. Instant gratification!

I asked him if I could call him ‘Grandpa’. He didn't react at all, no expressions on his face, he kept staring at the door as if was thinking about something. Instantly, he started walking with very slow steps towards the door that was left open by the care taker. I couldn't understand what he was going to do. I just followed with a thought that he might want to sit outside in the lawn and talk. He kept walking and then walked down the stairs. I followed and didn't realize the pain of having 'no home' that this old man was going through, until I noticed him jumping off the main gate of the old age home that was locked from inside. This raised an alarm and I instantly called up the care taker, who, with 2 other guys rushed to the gate to bring him back. The old man kept saying 'HOME', 'HOME', 'HOME'...... He wanted to run away and go to his 'home'. I was so touched by this sight that I could feel the tears in my eyes. On further probing, care taker told me that this old man was left 'outside' this old age home a few months back from where he was brought in. He had no 'home', no one to take care of him or even bothering if he was alive or not, if he was happy or not, if he needed anything or anyone or not.. So whenever this old man saw the room of his door opened, he used to run away like this calling 'Home, My Home'......!!!!!

Lets ask ourselves, can we give them one 'true home' not just a place to live in? Can we stop 'throwing' our elder people out of our hearts and houses? They make our 'homes' and keep them alive..... The sensitivity is so lost..........